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A Demon’s Letter On Prayer

What follows is from the Tapeworm Letters, a series of spiritual advice from one demon to another on how to corrupt, well…


In this letter, Tapeworm advises another demon on how to keep you from praying.


in Christ, patrick

I have received your complaints and I must say that I am more disappointed than usual. If you are serious that you think your target’s new found interest in communicating with the enemy can derail our position, than you are more of a novice at this than I had originally estimated. Look, it is all quite easy to deal with.

Begin to suggest to that miserable worm that to talk to the enemy at all takes precision. Whisper into his ear that unless he prays at the right time and with the right posture and with the right words and with the right intentions and with the right focus; and of course all within the right location then he should not bother to pray at all. And while this is quite a ridiculous suggestion I admit, you will be surprised (because you are such an amateur no doubt) that your target gives up long before he has begun.

And if by some strange act of persistence he opens his mouth still, it is not at all difficult to get him to cut off communication in order to begin again. And why is that? Because if you haven’t noticed, human beings have many flaws. One of those flaws is that they like to believe that they are or can be perfect.

In fact, our intelligence division has let us know that this silliness in them has even been encouraged by the enemy in one of his oldest communications with them. Something about ‘be perfect as…’ well who cares, you get the point.

So if he actually says something so grotesque as ‘hail…anything’, in a most gentle voice remind him that he really has to mean it for it all to ‘count.’ And when the fool begins again, soothe him with that same hideous voice of yours and let him know that his mind was most definitely drifting away to some far off place and not here ‘in the moment’ where he must be for prayer to be anything.

Don’t you see; or are you as much a fool as he is? Through such suggestions he will come to view communication with the enemy as more like a handwritten letter than that terribly primitive telephone. Instead of just picking up the line to call the enemy and speaking as little or as much as he must, as quickly or as slowly as he needs, we force these daft creatures to focus on whether or not they crossed their ‘t’s properly!

Our campaign on this particular point has been so successful that with very few exceptions, almost all of the enemy’s followers do not communicate with him at all. Can you even understand how big this is? We have cut them off from the very thing they need to win the war. Without praying they cannot see the bigger picture; they cannot receive consolation; they cannot focus.

And you know what happens when you stop communicating with someone don’t you? Of course you don’t; amateur that you are. Our targets stop believing that there is anyone there to pick up the phone anyway. This is so painful I love it! Follow the logic if you can. They don’t call the enemy so they come to believe that he isn’t there to answer. Oh, how I detest their small minds. Remember this: the less they pray, the less they believe.

So I hope you got all of that. If he starts to pray, point out the imperfections and then over time let his pathetic reasoning over take him.

This really is too simple. So get it right.

in all disgust,


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